Heterodox
by keem
Summary: UPDATE! 02-10-09. There is no such thing as a happy ending. Mello and Sayu, in a post-Kira world. AU, ongoing. MelloxSayu R
1. i'm gonna take what's evil

**Disclaimer: **The obligatory "I do not own Death Note." :sighs dejectedly:

**Recommended Reading:** _Duality_, _Heat_, and _Bleed_, although you should be able to infer what is going on without necessarily having to read _Heterodox_'s predecessors. (Hopefully.)

I'd also recommend reading _By Flashes of Lightning_, which has absolutely nothing to do with this storyline, but is an amazing MelloxSayu by the talented Bialy. Seriously, you'll pee your pants. In glee. It's _that _good.

**A/N: **… yeah, I know. I'm weak, guys, I'm not going to lie; the idea of Mello and Sayu in a post-Kira world is just too interesting of an idea to simply pass up. For those of you who are just tuning in, this is a what-if AU (the 'what-if' pertaining to Mello and Sayu falling in love, and Mello and Matt actually _living_) revolving around the end of Death Note. With lyrics provided by _Shiny Toy Guns_. Rated for Mello's potty mouth and blood, as well as smutty drivel later. You like it. Do not deny.

Please R&R!

--

**Heterodox**

--

"If it were only so simple! If only there were evil people somewhere insidiously committing evil deeds, and it were necessary only to separate them from the rest of us and destroy them. But the line dividing good and evil cuts through the heart of every human being. And who is willing to destroy a piece of his own heart?"

- Alexsandr Solzenitzyn

--

"I am the law, the one who maintains order. Now, I am justice, and the world's only hope." Light's voice was smug as he spread his arms out, his stature like that of a crooked cross. He flicked his gaze back over his shoulder at the others. At the forefront of the SPK were L's heirs, side-by-side, united at last. Near watched on dispassionately, unmoved by Light's theatrics, but Mello was glowering at him, his shoulders trembling slightly with barely-controlled rage. "Are you going to kill me?" he challenged, as Mello fingered the gun holstered in the belt of his pants. "Is that really the right thing to do?"

"Mello." The ivory-haired child gave him a warning look, but the elder boy seemed not to have heard. "Don't." Light reveled in the raw hatred etched upon the blonde's ruined face, _basked_ in it; his smile grew even wider as he continued in a sneer:

"Capturing Kira, then?" He said, nodding back in Near's direction. "That may have been the just thing in the past. But the mentality of the world has changed: people _want_ Kira around. They _revere_ him. He is single-handedly ridding the world of evil, one pen-stroke at a time. Are you sure you want to capture Kira simply for your own satisfaction?"

Near's expression remained unfathomable. Mello's, however, was much easier to read. He bared his teeth like a rabid dog, outraged. It overjoyed Light, knowing that he was the source of those ill, spiteful feelings. It was empowering, intoxicating.

"The world was _rotten_, and I have been purifying it. Do you really want the world to turn back to the way it was before? Do you want the minds of the people, who have already begun to change, to change again? Would that really be right?

"If you claim that this is to avenge L's death..." Light said, purposely locking gazes with Mello's as he spoke. "...Then that is an act of folly."

Mello suddenly yanked his weapon out by the hilt, releasing the safety and leveling it at Light's head. "Say that again," he hissed, and there was a surge of movement on both sides as Taskforce and SPK members alike stepped forward to subdue the murderous blonde. Light laughed; he couldn't help it. Mello's look was mutinous.

"What you see before you is Kira..." Light rhapsodized, his voice ominous. "The God of the New World."

"No..." came the fair-haired child's voice, who was sprawled out on the dirty floor beside Mello. The blonde lowered his weapon as Near held up one of his finger puppets - the hideous caricature that served as his representation of Light Yagami - between his forefinger and his thumb. "You're nothing but a crazy mass murderer." He squeezed it between his alabaster digits, causing the figure's eyes to bug out comically.

"Nobody can tell what is right and wrong, what is justice or evil..." Near continued to preach, and Light tuned him out completely.

_What a bunch of hopeless fools_... he thought scathingly, as his attention was drawn to his wristwatch, a seemingly ordinary thing that held a deadly secret. He glanced at Near and Mello, his own thoughts drowning out the younger prodigy's words. _If I can kill them here, then... calm down. Think... I just need the time and the opportunity to kill them..._

"Near," he began, and the albino abruptly fell silent. _That's right. Obey me_. "You first thought the fake notebook made by Mikami was the real one, and then replaced it." Near inclined his head slightly in acknowledgement. "And Mikami had the fake notebook that _you _made." The younger boy didn't say anything. "In other words, _both _notebooks turned out to be fake when the other side believed them to be real. And the mistake made by both sides was that they did not check to see if the notebooks were real or not."

He could feel everyone's eyes upon him; Mello's burning _into_ him, like a tangible, acidic thing. "The notebook that you have with you right now... and the one that Aizawa brought... are they real?"

He glanced around the warehouse, taking in their shocked and horrified faces. Matsuda fell to the ground, making terrible retching sounds before gasping out: "You can't mean--"

"The only way to test them..." Light announced, with borderline giddiness. "...is to write Mikami's name or my name in Aizawa's notebook."

Mello stepped forward eagerly, nodding at Aizawa. _You insignificant little fool_, Light thought in disgust, shaking his head. _I'm going to kill _you _first._

Mikami, who had remained relatively quiet throughout the entire ordeal, cried out in fear. "God--!" he wailed.

"Be quiet, Mikami." Light spat in disgust, and the onyx-haired lawyer whimpered but obligingly fell silent. Light rounded his gaze on Aizawa. The policeman's face was flushed and slick with perspiration. "Go ahead, let him." He nodded in Mello's direction.

"No," Near said, as Aizawa glanced uncertainly between them. "Light Yagami... Kira... we have no plans to kill you..."

Light had turned his back on them already. _You'll never understand_... he thought, and twisted the knob on his watch four times.

_Click_.

Light didn't even try to obscure what he was doing now: it didn't matter. The only thing of any real importance then was squeezing in Mello and Near's names before--

"He's got a hidden note on him!" Rester's booming voice resounded in alarm.

Light heard the sound of two guns being cocked behind him, as both Matsuda and Mello raised their weapons. Matsuda was fast, but Mello was faster: there was an explosion of noise and suddenly, a white-hot flare of pain. Light gave a scream of rage and agony as the note was blasted completely out of his hand. He whirled back upon them like a wrathful and vengeful god, blood dripping onto the pavement as he went.

"What the hell do you think you're _doing_?" He demanded, his voice lifting up into a scream. Mogi and Aizawa held Matsuda back, who was now sobbing uncontrollably. But there was no one restraining Mello, who stalked forward, aimed again, and fired.

Light cried out as the second bullet pierced his shoulder, causing him to stagger back.

"What did he die for!" Matsuda kept yelling, over and over again. "If Kira is righteous, if we're in the wrong, what did Chief Yagami die for!"

"Dad? Are you talking about Soichiro Yagami?" Light screeched, clutching his wounded shoulder as he swayed threateningly on the spot. "That's right, Matsuda! People crowned with justice like him always wind up losing in the end! Do you really want to live to live in a world where people like him are made fools of? Don't forget who you're allying yourself with: Soichiro Yagami's killer is standing right beside--"

He never got to finish. The third bullet missed by a fraction of an inch, but the fourth did not. Light teetered on the spot as his left side flared up, and then toppled over backwards, landing with a splash in a nearby puddle.

"He's got to die!" Mello snarled. He fell onto his knees and straddled Light's struggling body, pulling the brunette up by front of his shirt. They were nose-to-nose now, and Mello's breath smelled like Godiva liqueur and chocolate up close, a combination that was offensive to Light's very senses. "Forget it, Near, he's got to die!" He pressed the still-smoking barrel of the gun against Light's left temple.

"Don't!" Near's authoritative voice rang out. Light didn't know if his words were directed at Mello, or those currently advancing upon him. Light gazed up in horror, his hazel eyes searching Mello's deranged face for any source of pity, any kind of hesitation he could capitalize on. There was none - the blonde seemed completely beyond reason, and pride would not allow Light to beg for his life.

"Say goodnight, _Kira_," Mello said distastefully, his eyes glittering with malice as he pulled the trigger.

--

"You're not touching your food," Sayu said, indicating the half-eaten slice of pizza on Matt's paper plate. The redhead blinked up in alarm, as though just realizing she was there.

"Huh?"

"Matt? Are you alright?" They were in the dilapidated, one-room flat that served as Mello's de facto headquarters. Matt had recently splurged and bought himself a television, its iridescent glow the only source of light in the opaque shadows of the apartment. The two of them were watching the news - that is to say, _Matt_ was watching the news, his eyes flicking anxiously back at the screen every time Kira's name was mentioned (which was a lot) while Sayu licked greasy cheese off of her fingertips.

"Oh. I'm fine, just... not a big fan of pineapple." He pushed his plate away with a grimace. "You can have the rest, if you want."

Sayu got the distinct impression that the lanky, older boy was withholding information from her. Sayu also knew that there was no point in making demands, because whatever it was, Matt had surely been sworn to secrecy by Mello. Moreover, part of her didn't really _want _to know. Sayu's brother was Kira, and her lover was Mello, two clashing elements that could not co-exist in harmony. Sayu was acutely aware that it was only a matter of time before she would be forced to give up one for the sake of the other.

Sayu just hoped that it wasn't today.


	2. spin faster shouting out loud

"What the fuck do you think you're _doing_?" Mello demanded, nearly folded in half as Mogi yanked his hands behind his back. "Don't tell me you're actually going to arrest me for killing fucking _Kira_!"

The murder weapon lay discarded by Light's slain body. Matsuda, still sniffling, began to reach for it.

"Don't you dare fucking touch that," Mello snarled, writhing in Mogi's grasp as the cuffs were slapped on. "I'm serious, asshole!" When Matsuda didn't pay his warning any heed, Mello kicked out, aiming for the policeman's head as he grabbed the murder weapon. Mogi pulled him back and the blonde teetered, off-balance, his flailing leg missing its mark entirely. The blonde gave a yell as he was dragged away from Matsuda, who was trembling.

"Will somebody please tell me what the fuck is going on?" Mello bellowed, his voice echoing throughout the abandoned warehouse."I should be a fucking hero here! Why are you apprehending me?"

"You... the chief..." Matsuda choked unintelligibly, as Mello fixed him with a scathing look.

"You're a wanted man, Mello," Aizawa said, his voice superbly disdainful as he watched Mello snarling at the others through an uneven fringe of dirty golden hair. "Although we appreciate your help on the Kira case, we can't overlook the crimes you have committed while operating as a yakuza boss. We're bringing you in for the murder of Soichiro Yagami."

"Are you fucking serious?" Mello raged. He made a move, as though to advance upon the elder man, before Mogi seized him by the hood of his jacket and wrenched him ungracefully backwards. "Near!" His azure gaze flicked to younger prodigy as he stumbled unsteadily on his feet. "Are you really going to let them _do_ this to me?"

The younger prodigy stared up wearily from his position on the floor, the members of the SPK surrounding him like a wall of bodyguards. "Don't just sit there, you albino fuck, call them off!" When the fair-haired child did no such thing, Mello emitted a sound not unlike a cat's angry yowl.

"You son of a bitch!" Mello spat wrathfully. "This is how you repay me for all my work on the case? You dirty backstabber!"

"I'm afraid I don't know how to help you, Mello," the younger boy finally spoke, as Halle and the others drew in even more impossibly close, further shielding him. "I can't absolve you of your prior crimes. The jurisdiction does not lie with me."

Mello gave a mirthless scream of laughter. "You can't _absolve_ me? You're fucking L!"

"Who is a detective, not a judge," Near reminded him, completely unruffled by Mello's dramatics. "No one is above the law, Mello. Not even you."

--

"I want my fucking phone call!" Mello yelled, as he was unceremoniously thrown into a cell with his hands still bound behind his back. Mikami was already waiting for him there, curled up in a fetal position on a cot opposite to him. The sight of his prone and quaking form disgusted Mello, who immediately turned his back on him.

"I'm cell-mates with this bastard? This is an insult!"

"It's only temporary," Aizawa told him coolly, his back to Mello as he rummaged through a nearby filing cabinet. "Once we confine you to an actual prison, your living arrangements will change. But we have limited space here in the station, so this is how it has to be in the meantime."

Mikami lifted his head from his position huddled against the wall, and Mello narrowed his eyes.

"Looking at my lifespan?" Mello sneered. "Like what you see? You'd better turn around if you know what's _good _for you." Surprisingly, Mikami did not cower in response. Instead, his gaze hardened as his back stiffened, like a dog getting its hackles up.

"You're nothing but filth," Mikami whispered darkly.

"And _you're_ about to be nothing but a bloody smear on the floor," Mello snarled, his eyes full of blazing hatred. He had never been so angry in his entire life, and Mikami was only adding fuel to the already raging fire. "If you don't do as I say and turn. the fuck. _around_."

Even weaponless, with his arms bound behind his back, Mello knew he was still a force to be reckoned with. Mikami wisely backed down from the challenge, and did as he was told.

_That's right._

--

Matt's phone chirped in his pocket, some two hours later.

He fumbled with the compartments in his vest, frowning at the caller ID when he finally managed to retrieve it from the depths of his clothes. _This isn't a number I've ever seen before_, Matt thought, feeling familiar surge of worry and dread. Sayu had swung upright from her position splayed out on the futon upon Matt's scrutiny of the number, peering at the redhead anxiously from across the room.

"Who is it?" she demanded. Matt didn't answer, flipping the phone open and putting it up to his ear instead.

"...Hello?"

"Matt? It's me!" came the familiar voice of Mello through the speakers, and Matt couldn't help but exhale audibly in relief.

"Oh Jesus Almighty, I thought something terrible had happened for a second." Sayu immediately perked up at Matt's words.

"What--" Sayu began concernedly, but Matt halted her onslaught of questions by waving a hand irritably in her direction. Sayu narrowed her eyes at him, but obliged, folding her slender arms across her chest as she tapped one foot on the dirty floor impatiently.

"Something _has_. Listen, Matt, I--"

But Matt is only half paying attention now, too wrapped up in his own relief to hear the underlying panic laced in Mello's words. "Where the hell are you calling from, anyway?"

"That's what I'm trying to _tell_ you, you twit. I'm in _jail_."

The phone slipped free from Matt's grasp and clattered loudly on the floor.

"Matt!" Sayu admonished. She reached out to grab it, but Matt was faster, snatching it out from beneath her fingers and shoving it back against in his ear again.

"Are you serious?"

"Of course I'm fucking serious. Anyway, Matt, I--"

"But _why_?"

"They've brought me in for killing Soichiro Yagami. But they're telling me that because of my contributions to the Kira case--" Mello laughed here, although it was obvious his heart wasn't in it, "--they'll bring the charge down from 'murder' to 'voluntary manslaughter'." Matt heard muffled voices from behind Mello, and the blonde swore under his breath. "Listen, I have to get off the line here, but... tell Sayu that I love her, alright? And that I'm sorry. I'm at the station right now but I think they're supposed to be moving me tomor... Alright already! I'm hanging up now! Christ! ... Matt, we'll get in touch later. There's no fucking way I'm going to put up with this kind of blatant disregard." And the line went abruptly dead.

Matt stared ahead blankly, the receiver still cradled against his ear. Mello, _arrested_? But what about Near... or even Kira? Wasn't today... did they really...?

Matt jumped as Sayu's own cell phone began to sound. Sayu was still regarding Matt a little mistrustfully as she flipped the phone open and answered it. "Hello?"

Matt could hear Mrs. Yagami's voice on the other line, tinny and distant over the speaker. "Sayu!" she managed to heave, in-between sobs. "Your brother--Light--"


	3. your God knows his faithful

A/N: haha, and i bet you all thought i wasn't going to continue this :X but you were wrong, cuz i diiiid. i kind of, uh, vilified Near in this particular chapter, but only because i love him! he will be continuously popping up in chapters later on, which makes me happy, because Near is awesome. oh, and of course, there will be more Mello too!

thanks for all the wonderful reviews so far! i hope you all enjoy, and i'll see you next chapter :D

--

Hundreds of people came out of the woodwork to pay their respects to Light. Most were family and friends; people bound to the eldest Yagami child through blood, or acquaintances he knew through work or school. Some Sayu recognized - most she did not. There was a seemingly endless sea of faces, a chapel full of weepy women and men wearing solemn expressions. Sayu couldn't wait for it to be over with so that she could _leave_.

There was only one person on her mind right now. Sayu knew it was probably heartless of her to not put the proper effort into mourning the loss of her brother, but she just simply _couldn't_. The dead were dead, and nothing Sayu could do would ever change that. Furthermore, Sayu knew that Light was _Kira_, and that his radical God-complex had resulted in the loss of thousands of lives. And maybe it was callous, but his departure to the otherworld was something of a relief - in a twisted, painful sort of way - and Sayu knew she wasn't the only person in the church who thought so. (Although the majority of the populace remained largely unaware.)

Something was grievously wrong here, and it wasn't the fact that Light was dead, _dead_, his body cold and lifeless and ready to put to rest six feet beneath the earth. Mello was gone - had been gone for almost a week now - and she knew there was a correlation between these two variables, although she did not want to make the connection herself.

Matt had been infuriatingly tight-lipped about the whole matter thus far, repeatedly claiming ignorance even though Sayu knew better. The redhead was currently sitting on the chapel steps out front, smoking a cigarette. He did not want to sit through the service, and frankly, given his relationship to L and Mello, Sayu supposed she couldn't blame him.

(It had been awkward earlier, when introductions had been made. Sachiko had demanded to know whether the fiery-haired, chain-smoking young man was Sayu's reason for being absent so often lately, and Sayu, having no other explanation to give, said 'yes.' Matt had thereafter been referred to as 'Sayu's delinquent boyfriend' throughout the remainder of the wake.)

It was only afterwards, when the preacher had finished his sermon and people were pouring out the front doors and into the parking lot that she spotted him: a familiar face, although they had never met before. The young prodigy looked exactly the way Mello had described him, the way he appeared in Sayu's mind's eye.

_Near_.

If Matt wasn't going to give her the answers she wanted, perhaps _he_ would. Sayu weaved in and out throughout the dispersing crowd, passing Matt on her way down the steps and onto the pavement below. Matt seemed to realize who she was making a beeline for, and she saw him toss his cigarette away and surge to his feet in an attempt to catch her.

"Sayu, wait!"

No, _Matt_, Sayu thought firmly, picking up her pace. She dodged around a middle-aged couple in front of her and reached out to seize the silver-haired detective in front of her. He was surprisingly boneless in her grasp, and she forcibly hauled him around to face her with miraculous ease--

--And then suddenly there was a group of people in dark suits converging upon them - two men, and a woman that Sayu recognized from TV.

Near stared back at Sayu impassively as the three drew nearer, almost as though to form a protective bubble around him. Sayu flinched slightly as they got close, but refused to let go of the younger man's shoulder.

"You're Near, aren't you?" she asked, refusing to look at anyone but the fair-haired detective in front of her.

For a second, Sayu thought he might not answer. But then, he affirmed, in a voice barely above a whisper, "...that is correct."

"I want to talk to you." She didn't wait for him to respond, instead pressing eagerly on: "Where's Mello?"  
The two men flanking Near were pushed aside as Matt breached the formation. "What the fuck is going on here?" he demanded angrily, gaze darting anxiously back and forth, taking in both Sayu and Near's expressions.

"I want Near to give me the answers _you _won't," Sayu said, glaring over the younger man's shoulder at the redhead. Her hand still remained clasped on his pale shoulder.

"You didn't tell her?" came Near's impossibly quiet voice again, his dark eyes flicking over to where Matt now stood frozen.

"Mello told me not to," Matt said, crossing his arms. "Although while we're on the subject, I'm kind of sparse on the details, myself." His look was vaguely accusatory, and Sayu grew afraid.

"What happened to Mello, Near? Where is he?"

"He has been apprehended for the murder of Soichiro Yagami," Near responded immediately, and Sayu released her hold on him, stepping back in alarm. "The Taskforce brought him after the incident at the Yellow Box Warehouse."

"Did he--?" Matt began, eyes wide, and Near nodded.

_So he _was_ the one who did it. He killed Light._

"They... they brought him in?" Sayu asked, unable to suppress the involuntary shudder that the realization evoked. "But... his actions were done in self-defense... Surely there will be a trial?"

She glanced from Near to Matt. The albino's expression was unreadable, and Matt looked just as expectant and as concerned as she did. There was a lengthy period of silence, and after a while Sayu thought perhaps Near might not answer her.

"Near, _please_." She gathered his hands up in her own, trying to peer desperately into his face. The younger boy immediately glanced away, his half-lidded stare fixated on the asphalt beneath them instead.

"No, I don't think so," he said finally. "You see, many... complications... arose out of the Kira case. The Japanese Police have decided it is better to keep everything under the radar and--"

"So they're just going to let him rot away in _prison_?" Sayu demanded, her voice shrill. Her hands, usually darker than Near's, began to turn white. "Near, you're supposed to be L now, aren't you? Can't you _do_ something?"

The detective slowly retracted his hands, gesturing above Sayu's head instead. The blonde-haired woman that Sayu knew from TV leaned forward, and Near was given an scarlet-painted action figure. He immediately clutched it against his chest, his dark eyes looking at everything but the brunette's fanatical face.

"You're lucky he isn't being executed," Near said after a moment. "Mello is a former Yakuza boss and a _murderer_, Sayu. You, more than anyone else, should be aware of what he's capable of."

"You _bastard_," Sayu swore, her hands clenching into fists at her sides. She took a step forward but so did everyone else, and Matt suddenly leapt between the two standing in the middle, arms thrown out wide in order to protect Sayu from Near's bodyguards.

"Back off, you fucks!" He hollered.

"After all he's done--" Sayu sputtered from behind Matt, trying to push his lanky form out of the way. "After everything he sacrificed--"

"I am not undermining his contributions to the Kira investigation," Near responded coolly. "But the fact still remains--"

"Oh, you're so full of shit!" Sayu yelled. Several heads turned, but the brunette was beyond caring at this point. "You know what you can do with your justice, Near? You can take it and shove it up your ass!"

Years of sharing quarters with Mello had left the albino indifferent to such displays of hostility. He seemed completely unmoved by Sayu's rage. "I'm sorry for your loss, Sayu," he said very quietly, and the brunette couldn't tell if the condolences were genuine or not. "I have to go now."

Immediately he was ushered away from the seething woman and her redheaded companion. Sayu watched as the door to a black Mercedes idling nearby was opened, and the tiny albino creature pulled himself inside.

_Mello was right_, Sayu thought fiercely, her breath coming out in panicky little bursts, suddenly dangerously on the verge of tears. _He_ is_ a freak._

--

"You know, its _your _fault he's in jail, Nate River," Ryuk said, cackling as he materialized in the backseat beside the fair haired detective. The door immediately swung shut behind them.

"I would be inclined to say that I disagree," the albino responded evenly, pointedly ignoring the reaper's gaze and staring out the window instead.

"Oh?"  
"I wrote that Light Yagami would die from a gunshot wound to the head," Near explained. "I never specifically stated _who _would be responsible for the killing blow. It could have just as easily been Matsuda who ended up pulling the trigger."

"So you figure you're blameless then, huh?"

The sleuth did not immediately respond, fiddling with the strap of his seat belt instead.  
"You forget that Mello was _already_ wanted for the murder of Chief Yagami. I was in no way involved with that particular incident." The young prodigy's hand reached up, nimble fingers seizing a strand of silvery hair and coiling it tight around his index finger. "Mello was fully aware of the consequences when he acted out the way that he did. The law would have caught up with him sooner or later."

"I believe you humans have a particular saying that sums up the present situation here quite nicely," Ryuk said, his soulless black orbs glittering in dark mischief. "Are you familiar with the phrase 'powder keg?'" His eerie smile, already impossibly large, grew even more enormous. "You lit the fuse, Nate."

Near's expression remained unreadable as he stared at the scenery beyond the dark tint of his window, although the hands holding his red Power Ranger in his lap twitched slightly.

"It's a shame you decided only to use the Death Note so sparingly," Ryuk continued pleasantly, completely unperturbed by his companion's stony-faced silence. "You'd make an excellent mass murderer yourself."

For a moment, it looked as though the petite sleuth didn't hear. Then, with a voice that sounded both tired and reluctant, he inquired: "What makes you say that, Ryuk-san?" His voice was barely audible over the already quiet purr of the engine.

"You can justify your actions with whatever you do. Light was like that." Ryuk sighed fondly, appearing suddenly wistful - as much as a Death God could, anyway. "You're a text-book example of a... what's the word? ... oh yeah, a _sociopath_."

As the ethereal being threw back his head with a heart-felt guffaw, Near frowned but said nothing.


	4. we're gonna lose forever

**A/N: **this is a long time coming, and for what it's worth, I'm sorry. If it makes you any happier, we're about half way through the story, I figure – it's shaping up to be about ten chapters, give or take a couple. I know I'm really bad at updating, but I'll try to get around to updating this in a reasonably timely fashion. Now that school has started up again, however, and I'm taking 18 units – it's hard to promise anything. Thanks to everyone who's read and reviewed so far! Enjoy!

--

When Mello closed his eyes, all he could see was Sayu.

It gave him a complicated surge of hope and fear every time he thought about her, the dark-haired brunette with the laughing eyes. Sayu looked so much like Light, and yet was so very different – it was hard to believe that he could be so fond of someone who, in the beginning, had been a consistent reminder to Mello of the monster she was related to. But as time wore on, Mello thought of her less as 'Light's sister' and more as 'Sayu,' an individual with her own thoughts, feelings—someone that he cared very deeply for.

Thinking about Sayu nowadays usually only offered solace, but tonight it offered an underlying feeling of grief. Mello wasn't concerned about getting out of jail—it was a matter of 'when' and not 'if', as Mello was very confident in his abilities as an escape artist, criminal, and master manipulator—but he was concerned about Sayu's reaction to him showing up on her doorstep. Surely by now she would have learned of Mello's role in Light's death—that he had been at the root of it—and he was pretty sure that didn't put him in a favorable light in her eyes. Sayu loved her brother, an affection that bordered on reverence—and Mello has already used his 'get out of jail free' card with her. He was not sure if they could recover from something as devastating as what he has done.

Mello is surprised that he feels regret. He should be happier, shouldn't he? He had_ won_, and winning had always been everything. He was the one who had figured out everything in the end, after all—he had bested_ Near_, his rival, at long last. He had laid Light to rest himself, something he had dreamt darkly about since he had first learned of L's death. But at the same time, Mello had committed an act of significant murder, and he knew that there would be consequences to pay; he just had never thought that the consequences would be so steep that his conscience would waver. For once in his life, Mello wished that he had thought things through better.

_I'm a monster._

Mikami was cowering in the dark corner farthest away from Mello. Mere moments earlier, he had been told the date of his execution. He had not been granted the kind of immunity that Mello has, and there was to be no trial. The Japanese police – and Near's people – wanted to keep the whole thing as quiet as possible, and they wanted Kira, to fade discreetly out of the limelight. Mikami had no hope of being saved.

In a few days, Mikami will face Judgment Day. A scary thought, for someone who has just seen personal deity fall from grace and prove his own mortality. Mikami was obviously scared out of his mind – what waits for him beyond the electric chair? – and Mello had a pang of sympathy that had nothing to do with the man's impending death. Mello had a Judgment Day of his own that he had to face, one day, when he managed to escape jail, and it offered none of the sweet oblivion that Mikami would receive.

_Sayu, do you miss me, or do you hate me? _

--

Matt had never known how to deal with crying women, and so Sayu's grief had been especially hard for him to handle. It seemed callous, but he had mostly left her to her own devices while he played videogames out in the living room until she composed herself. Sayu had long since retreated to the bathroom, and the sound of her choked sobs behind the door made Matt so anxious that twice he had singed his vest from stray ash.

It was late in the evening before she finally re-emerged, and when she did, her face was shiny with the sheen of water. Evidently she had just washed her face, and Matt felt inwardly relieved because her eyes appeared no longer swollen and red.

"Are you okay?" he asked tentatively.

"I've got a plan," she announced suddenly, "and you're going to help me."

Matt sighed and stubbed out his cigarette onto the already ruined floor. Sayu did not make her usual comment about him being a pig, and so he understood immediately that this was serious. He heaved a great sigh as he propped his elbows up on his knees. He watched her warily. "What?"

"We're going to have Near grant Mello immunity."

Matt hesitated a moment, biting his lip. Then, delicately, he pointed out the following: "Didn't you already try that?"

"You don't understand, Matt," Sayu said darkly. "We are not going to take 'no' for an answer this time."

Matt was afraid to ask. "We will make him listen to Reason," she said, more fiercely—and a little desperately—this time. "I know I can get him on our side, Matt. I know I can get him to see things our way."

"Sayu, you don't know Near as well as I do," Matt said quietly. "He's not one to have his convictions swayed so easily—"

"He _will_ listen to us, Matt," Sayu said again, nearly on the verge of panic. "He has to!"

Matt opened his mouth to make a rebuttal, but something about the way Sayu looked in that moment made stop. She reminded him so strongly of Mello in that moment that it was almost painful, and Matt swallowed.

"I suppose… we could talk to him again," he offered lamely, still a little unsure.

"Exactly. I want you to take me to him."

"I've never been to Near's headquarters, and the location has changed since they were forced to go underground. I don't know where it is, and even if I did, I wouldn't have access to it," Matt pointed out, and Sayu looked as though she was about to shout as Matt, or perhaps strangle him. "But," he continued quickly, before she could threaten him with violence, "you have friends that probably do. What's that guy's name—Matsuda?"

Sayu's eyes went wide with horror, and for the first time Matt saw her confidence waver. "I don't know," she said, a little doubtfully. "I don't know if I can convince him to help us—"

"Well," Matt said, with raised eyebrows. "You'll just have to make him listen to Reason."

--

_Reason_ – in which I pay homage to the nuclear gun that goes by the same name. From _Snow Crash_.


End file.
